Reader Response Draft 4

In “Writing Your Way To Happiness”, Parker-Pope (2015) presents a series of research studies to highlight the benefits that people can gain from expressive writing. One of the benefits of expressive writing mentioned in the article is that it helps to alleviate conflict between married couples. A research study was done on 120 married couples who had to write about their conflict from a third-party perspective. The outcome showed an improvement in family relations among couples that engaged in expressive writing as opposed to those who did not. However, expressive writing might not be successful in resolving marriage conflicts if the mechanism that controls and regulates what is being written is absent.

While Parker-Pope (2015) mentions that expressive writing allows the writer to express his troubles and reconstruct his thoughts, it might not always result in a desirable outcome. This is because expressive writing encourages the person to freely express his thoughts, which may include his disgust toward the other party. In the case of a married couple, the wife, for instance, might write down all the negative attitudes and characteristics of her husband throughout their marriage life. Looking at all the unfavourable attitudes of her husband that she has written might only add to her disgust towards her husband instead of alleviating the conflict. The tension between the couple would escalate if both the husband and wife frequently wrote about the negativity of their spouse. Therefore, instead of encouraging the couples to reconstruct their thoughts, expressive writing would only agitate their feelings toward their spouse and prolong the conflict.

Furthermore, the process of writing might be seen as a hassle to couples who in conflict. According to Parker-Pope (2015), expressive writing is about writing and rewriting. This suggests that writing is not a one-off activity and it requires discipline, time and effort in order for a person to gain its benefit. However, when facing a conflict, emotions and moods are affected. Emotions play a critical role in decision-making. When the state of emotions is unstable, it will affect the person’s behaviour and result in poor decision-making (Lamia, 2010). This might hinder the person from achieving a meaningful outcome from expressive writing since their mind is not in the state of tranquility. Since writing requires a certain amount of discipline and time, couples might do something else to divert their attention away from the conflict, such as watching movies or engaging in physical activities, instead of engaging in expressive writing.

In addition to that, writing only helps to ease a conflict temporarily. Expressive writing enables the couple to express their problems such that it acts as a coping mechanism for them (Parker-Pope, 2015). However, these coping mechanisms are only effective in the short run. As long as the couple does not take practical measures to improve their marital happiness, their conflict will not subside. If they do not address the root cause of their conflict, even if they engage in expressive writing, their conflict will persist in the long run.

In conclusion, there is no perfect and absolute mechanism that would best resolve conflicts within married couples. Expressive writing would be more effective in coping with these conflicts only if certain conditions are met. This includes regulating and controlling what is being written in order to avoid undesirable emotions. Also, couples should take additional measures besides writing so as to achieve an optimal outcome when dealing with a conflict.




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References:

Lamia, M. (31 December, 2010). Like it or Not, Emotions Will Drive the Decisions You Make Today. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201012/it-or-not-emotions-will-drive-the-decisions-you

Parker-Pope, T. (2015, February 12). Writing your way to happiness  [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/?_r=0