With the
advancement in technology and the availability of the Internet infrastructure in
Singapore, social networking becomes accessible to almost everyone. Social
media serves as a platform for virtual networkings. However, it is increasingly
used by teenagers to express their discontentment over others. A worrying trend
has prevailed, such that more teenagers are involved in cyberbullying. Research
has shown that Singapore recorded the second highest cases of cyberbullying
among teenagers (CITE). To counter this problem, various measures were
implemented by the government. Nevertheless, while corrective measures
that have been introduced such as anti-harassment laws and counselling is crucial,
preventive measures through education at home and in school remain the most
fundamental solution to suppressing cyber-bullying among teenagers in Singapore.
Various corrective measures by the government to alleviate the problem have been introduced. Corrective measures focuses on rehabilitating the victim and offenders of a cyberbullying incidents. The anti-harassment
laws, passed in March 2014 by the parliament, aims at countering cyberbullying. It
emphasises the importance of protecting possible victims
against harassment by outlining proper cyberspace conducts and
punishments for those who breaks the law (CITE). This law allows the authority to exercise jurisdiction against offenders through corrective
measures such as fines and jail sentences, depending on the severity of the
bully. On top of that, the government
also works closely with social support groups to rehabilitate cyberbully
offenders. It includes counselling and medical treatments for repeated offenders who are believed to have underlying mental problems. In schools, counselling help are provided for the victims and the
offenders who are involved in cyberbullying.
However, such
corrective measures only provide short-term solution to the problem. It does
not necessarily prevent cyberbullying from reoccurring. This is because
research has shown that the reason as to why these teenagers engage in
cyberbullying is because they were either victims themselves or have seen
someone close to them being bullied through cyberspace (CITE). On top of that,
some offenders mention that cyberbullying allows them to project their power
and superiority over the victims. They derive pleasure from the sufferings of
their victims. To make matter worse, cyberbullying offenders often remain
anonymous. All these complicate the effectiveness of corrective measures as discussed
above since it ignores the motivational factors that drive these teenagers to
engage in cyberbullying.
Preventive measure is therefore crucial to get to the baseline of this problem. This is because it offers a mechanism to prohibit cyberbullying from happening. One of the most fundamental aspect of preventive measure is education. Educating the social media users about the cyberspace ethics and restrictions, particularly the teenagers, allows a friendly and safe cyberspace environment. The government, together with the Singapore Children's society for instance, has introduced bully-free campaigns to educate and nurture teenagers to be ethical cyberspace users (CITE). This campaign also seeks to create awareness of the worrying trend of cyberbullying, and it calls for the involvement of the family and the community to counter cyberbullying. On top of that, the Ministry of Education (MOE) introduced the Cyber Wellness programme in schools, where "students learn to respect others by thinking through what they publish online so that they do not hurt others" (CITE).
Such efforts, however, requires constant reminders and commitments for it to be effective in the long run. One might even argue that education in school alone is insufficient. It requires education and regulation at home. Parents could play a part by monitoring their children's cyberspace behaviour and also detect if their children is a victim of cyberbullying, so that early help can be provided. On the part of the individuals, they should also be committed to observe proper cyberspace ethics. Individuals should not respond to any cyberthreats and get immediate help if they fall in the victim's trap.
In conclusion, there is no solitary measures that could best counter cyberbullying. Nonetheless, we can argue that preventive measures is more fundamental in dealing with this problem. Preventive measures serve as a first-step in suppressing cyberbullying. Every agent in the society have pivotal role to play. Countering cyberbullying is therefore a joint effort among the state, the community, the family and the individual.
Such efforts, however, requires constant reminders and commitments for it to be effective in the long run. One might even argue that education in school alone is insufficient. It requires education and regulation at home. Parents could play a part by monitoring their children's cyberspace behaviour and also detect if their children is a victim of cyberbullying, so that early help can be provided. On the part of the individuals, they should also be committed to observe proper cyberspace ethics. Individuals should not respond to any cyberthreats and get immediate help if they fall in the victim's trap.
In conclusion, there is no solitary measures that could best counter cyberbullying. Nonetheless, we can argue that preventive measures is more fundamental in dealing with this problem. Preventive measures serve as a first-step in suppressing cyberbullying. Every agent in the society have pivotal role to play. Countering cyberbullying is therefore a joint effort among the state, the community, the family and the individual.
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
ReplyDelete- Introduction. Background of the introduction develops well: First, the key words of “social media” are defined, then the cause of cyber bullying is explained, and lastly the relevance and importance of the topic are highlighted and substantiated with statistical data. A brief description of the solutions, current and proposed, serves to help the reader anticipate the flow of the essay and also helps support the thesis that follows.
- Detailed description and thorough analysis of the current solution. The different angles at which the current solution is analysed show the different facets of the problem of cyber bullying and critical thinking on the writer’s part.
2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
- The problem of cyber bullying is centred on a particular group, focused on the teenagers in Singapore.
- The problem is clearly stated in the introduction.
- Yes
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
- The solution by the government seems comprehensive, as it includes the different ways it handles the issue of cyber bullying. The paragraph could be clearer if the first sentence contained the main idea of how the government handles the problem rather than directly starting with “The anti-harassment laws…”. This could help the reader stay focused on the ideas expressed.
- Rather effective, with reasons stated in 1.
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
- N.A.
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
- Perhaps touch on the detrimental effects of cyber bullying
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
- Yes, such as statistics to highlight the relevance of the topic/problem.
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
- The ideas flow well, but can be improved with transitional phrases to introduce the main idea of the paragraph.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
- Was under the impression that the psychological cause of cyber bullying in the evaluation was contradictory to the counselling offered in the current solution.
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
- N.A.
- Yes, reporting verbs were used properly, “Research has show that…”
- N.A.
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
- Improve upon the thesis by focusing on the family and the individual as the more effective solutions to cyber bullying
- Perhaps add concluding statements at the end of body paragraphs to sum up and relate the content back to the essay or overarching theme. Helps the reader focus on the flow of the essay.
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
ReplyDeleteI like that you have actually sought to address the root cause of cyber bullying. By acknowledging in that, you have effectively debunking the effectiveness of current measures, which you have also provided solutions too address where it has fallen short at.
2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
I am unable to see your solutions that were mentioned throughout the essay surface throughout the introduction. You might want to end your introduction, with a sentence that briefly mentions your solution to the issue.
- The problem of cyber bullying is centred on a particular group, focused on the teenagers in Singapore.
- The problem is clearly stated in the introduction.
- Yes, it focuses on teenagers
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
First solution mentioned is education. Which focuses on the social media ethics is well documented. Steps to implement it is also mentioned in detail.
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
- N.A.
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
Mention the detrimental effects of cyber bullying.
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
such as statistics to highlight the relevance of the topic/problem. Research that shows the root cause of cyber bullying
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
- The ideas flow well, but can be improved with transitional phrases to introduce the main idea of the paragraph.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
- solution hasn't address the problem you raised in the essay. Does regulation and education about ethnics address the main problem you raise which is the tendencies
of offenders to built their pleasure, self esteem on the pain of the victims.
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
- N.A.
.
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
- Introduce your solutions to the issue in your introduction.
- Refine your solution; especially the education part (perhaps some other form of education that goes beyond just ethnics). Alternatively you might choose to bridge the link between how social media ethnics does address the root cause of cyber bullying.