In “Writing Your Way To Happiness”,
Parker-Pope (2015) presents a series of research studies to highlight the
benefits that people can gain from expressive writing. One of the benefits of
expressive writing mentioned in the article is that it helps to alleviate
conflict between married couples. A research study was done on 120 married
couples who had to write about their conflict from a third-party perspective.
The outcome showed an improvement in family relations among couples that
engaged in expressive writing as opposed to those who did not. However, expressive
writing might not be successful in resolving marriage conflicts if the mechanism
that controls and regulates what is being written is absent.
While Parker-Pope (2015) mentions that expressive
writing allows the writer to express his troubles and reconstruct his thoughts,
it might not always result in a desirable outcome. This is because expressive
writing encourages the person to freely express his thoughts, which may include
his disgust toward the other party. In the case of a married couple, the wife,
for instance, might write down all the negative attitudes and characteristics
of her husband throughout their marriage life. Looking at all the unfavourable
attitudes of her husband that she has written might only add to her disgust
towards her husband instead of alleviating the conflict. The tension between
the couple would escalate if both the husband and wife frequently wrote about
the negativity of their spouse. Therefore, instead of encouraging the couples
to reconstruct their thoughts, expressive writing would only agitate their
feelings toward their spouse and prolong the conflict.
Furthermore, the process of writing
might be seen as a hassle to couples who in conflict. According to Parker-Pope
(2015), expressive writing is about writing and rewriting. This suggests that
writing is not a one-off activity and it requires discipline, time and effort
in order for a person to gain its benefit. However, when facing a conflict, emotions
and moods are affected. Emotions play a critical role in decision-making. When
the state of emotions is unstable, it will affect the person’s behaviour and
result in poor decision-making (Lamia, 2010). This might hinder the person from
achieving a meaningful outcome from expressive writing since their mind is not
in the state of tranquility. Since writing requires a certain amount of
discipline and time, couples might do something else to divert their attention
away from the conflict, such as watching movies or engaging in physical
activities, instead of engaging in expressive writing.
In addition to that, writing only helps
to ease a conflict temporarily. Expressive writing enables the couple to
express their problems such that it acts as a coping mechanism for them
(Parker-Pope, 2015). However, these coping mechanisms are only effective in the
short run. As long as the couple does not take practical measures to improve
their marital happiness, their conflict will not subside. If they do not
address the root cause of their conflict, even if they engage in expressive
writing, their conflict will persist in the long run.
In conclusion, there is no perfect and
absolute mechanism that would best resolve conflicts within married couples. Expressive
writing would be more effective in coping with these conflicts only if certain
conditions are met. This includes regulating and controlling what is being
written in order to avoid undesirable emotions. Also, couples should take
additional measures besides writing so as to achieve an optimal outcome when
dealing with a conflict.
(574 Words)
References:
Lamia,
M. (31 December, 2010). Like it or Not, Emotions Will Drive the Decisions You
Make Today. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201012/it-or-not-emotions-will-drive-the-decisions-you
Parker-Pope,
T. (2015, February 12). Writing your way to happiness [Web log
post]. Retrieved from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/?_r=0
